Only Human
by Andramion
Summary: Tara O'Shea (OC) struggles with life in the caves. Her parents are over-protective, she and Freedom are or aren't in a relationship and she wants more than just this enless repetition. When she sneaks out to experience more of the world she has to call home, she runs into Callum (OC), a Soul so different from the others. Rated M for LEMONS LATER ON! First fanfiction, please review?
1. Chapter 1

**This story plays 18 years after the storyline in "The Host".  
Please don't ignore the rating! LEMONS ARE COMING FURTHER ALONG THE STORY!**

Hope you enjoy ;)

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CHAPTER ONE: Only Human

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It wasn't that hard to rob the store blind.

It never really is when the cashiers don't realize that that's what you're doing. I nodded at the friendly men standing at the sliding doors that led outside. Pushing my trolley at a steady pace, my mother watched me closely. She was worried, as always. I could see it in the slight lines around her eyes.

"Tara," she said, softly, not to alarm the other customers. She paused until we were back in the sunlight. "You did well, sweetheart." We walked over to the van parked at the far end of the lot and I could see my father standing there. Why did we always have to do everything together?

"I'm glad you're back," he greeted my mother and me, ruffling my curls and pressing a kiss on mom's lips. "You did good, kid." He looked over to the entrance and when I followed his gaze, I could see a group of young people, about my age, looking over at us. _Souls or humans?_ I wondered. It was all possible these days. I went with souls, seeing the worried look on their faces.

"We need to go everyone," a voice said from the front of the car and I smiled at Freedom's head poking out the front window of the van. "I think they're all waiting."

"Shotgun!" I said quickly and jumped into the passenger seat, leaving the loading to my parents. I grinned at the man sitting next to me.

"So how was it?" he asked me with a broad lopsided grin on his face. "Your first time."

"It was easy." I rolled my eyes in exasperation. "I can't believe my parents wouldn't let me go sooner. It's not like they're a threat to me." I looked out the window and saw my mum was bringing the trolley back on her own. Of course my father still had to stay away from the stores, he was after all too old to be a human born to Soul parents.

"Ian and Wanda are just being careful. You shouldn't let it bother you that much, O'Shea."

I scoffed and crossed my arms. _So much for a friend understanding me,_ I thought. Even though Freedom was only a couple years older than me, he wouldn't ever let me forget that my mom was his 'friend' before I was. My mom, the great Wanderer, who'd made life in the caves so much better than it used to be. Or so Free and his brother Isaiah always told me. Jamie too.

Mom and dad got in the back of the van then and Freedom and I both kept quiet. Mom looked at me worryingly – we were usually more talkative – but didn't say a word about it.

We drove the rest of the night, already on our way back during this two-week trip. Or _raid_ as my parents and Freedom called it.

Even though I'd been born and raised in the desert caves, I couldn't see how the Soul society threatened _me_. Yes, I was human, but there were more and more human children born into this world every year. It was still rare for someone my age to be human, but it happened. Not all Soul parents gave their children up to host a new Soul.

And as my mother always told me, Souls were gentle and kind. They wouldn't capture and interrogate me for being human. They would believe my lies, because there were no rebel humans left. Or so they thought. And so, if all human children were the children of Souls, they too were unfamiliar with the concept of deception. Therefore, I was not in danger.

If only my parents would understand that.

* * *

We checked into a motel, our last stop before we got home. We'd have to drive the whole day tomorrow, seen as we'd gone further out than normally. Mom got us two rooms, one for her and dad and one for Freedom and me.

I flopped on the bed as soon as I saw it. Sighing, I ran my arms across the soft bedspread. When I heard a chuckle, I looked up to Freedom, sitting down on his own bed across the room, untying his shoelaces.

"What?" I asked him. I didn't realize I was being funny.

"Don't you think it's strange that your parents are just letting us stay in a room together?" He pulled his right shoe off and I saw there was a hole in his sock.

"Not really," I answered honestly. I slid my own boots off and walked over to him, leaning against the bedpost as he looked up to me. "I mean, it's not like there's something going on, right? You are waaaaaaaaaay to honorable to like, try something."

He chuckled again and stretched up to lift me from the ground and drop me onto the bed next to him. I smiled broadly as he hovered over me, leaning on his forearms.

"That's just right, Tara," he said, still grinning widely. His dark eyes twinkled with boyish charm. "So I guess nothing's going to happen here tonight. Just like all those other nights."

"Well, then I guess I'll have to take things into my own hands." With that, I slung my arms around his neck and pulled him down until I could press my lips against his. Freedom's gasp wasn't out of shock, excitement rather.

He rolled us around so I was straddling his hips, bent over to keep our lips locked in this searing kiss. He caught my lower lip between his teeth and I let out a little moan, knotting my fingers in his short hair, trying to pull him even closer.

It sure wasn't the first time we'd done this. It was probably some sort of inevitability, really. We were the only ones of our age in the hot, dark caves in the desert: one of the human outposts on this planet overtaken by body-snatching aliens. Mind-erasing aliens. Souls that inhabited human bodies, erasing whoever the body belonged to before.

None of the couples wanted to bring a child into this world. I know aunt Mel and uncle Jared hadn't wanted to. Sharon and Doc had never really tried as far as I knew. Jamie and Noelle… well, maybe they were just too young to think of children. The fact that I was here was only due to an accident. Mom and dad had never told me I was unwelcome, but I knew that they were constantly worried for me. Mom knew what would happen if I was to be caught, she'd experienced it first-hand, from sharing aunt Mel's body for almost a year.

It was weird for me to think of that. My mom in a different body. Maybe because I was so attached to her the way she was. She'd fallen pregnant with me not long after she'd gotten her new body, the one she still wore. I couldn't even think about how weird it must have been for dad to have mom switch bodies. He always told me he hadn't minded because he only loved the body because my mom was in it, but come on. I knew how physical love could be, I knew that bodies sure did count.

Like Freedom's body that for some reason was moving away from me. I grabbed for him once more, but he'd come up from our fevered kissing and was in perfect control of himself.

"You're distracted," he accused me, pulling me into a hug that was platonic at most. "What's bothering you?"

"I'm sorry," I mumbled into his shirt, trying to calm down from the rush of adrenaline we'd caused together. "Just… stuff."

Stuff. Always stuff. I could never really let go all the way and shut my brain off. My mother might have wandered through space, but my thoughts wandered so often that I wondered if it should have been my name, too.

Yes, I liked Freedom. But I wasn't really sure if it was love, or even real lust. We were both there, we were the only ones there. It had felt natural to figure all these things out together. But I didn't know what this was, to me or to Freedom. It was what kept me from taking things further with him, further than heated kisses and fumbling under each other's shirts.

"We'll see them tomorrow, Tara," Freedom guessed at what was bothering me. "Let's just go to sleep. I know you're tired too and we'll have to get up early. We'll have our own beds again tomorrow. Don't worry, alright?"

I let him hug me some more and, as he and I changed into our pajamas and crawled under the blankets, I left him in the belief that I was worried about the others. I should have been. It was selfish of me to worry about my own troubles when I didn't if the others were alright. But then again, I was only human.

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**So, this is my very first fanfiction. I hope you liked this first chapter.  
More of the old characters are coming up in the next chapters.**

**If you liked it (or didn't) please leave me a review! I'd love to see what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2: Home Again

CHAPTER TWO: Home Again

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I was relieved when the big truck finally slowed to a stop in front of the stone mass that hid the caves below. I unhooked my belt, shot one smile at my dad in the driver's seat, then popped the door open en jumped down to the hot desert sand.

I ran straight into the caves, knowing exactly when to duck my head where the tunnel was lower on the way in. The first person I ran into was one of my favorites in this labyrinth.

"Tara! You're back!" Trevor's little arms closed around my waist as he hugged me tightly. "Where's auntie Wanda?" I ruffled his hair and looked at his demanding eyes.

"Just a little way back, she and Freedom are parking the jeep, they'll be here soon, too. Do you think you can go and find your mom and dad? I need some help with the supplies." His light brown hair flopped up and down as he nodded vehemently.

"Can I help too?" he asked me, hopeful that maybe this time he'd be allowed to go outside. He'd already let go of me and he was now walking towards the tunnel that led to the east field.

"When you're bigger!" I called after him. I heard footsteps to my left and looked into the tunnel to see Brandt and Aaron come from the baths.

"Hey Aaron! Brandt!" I said, a little louder than usual but chipper as always, glad to run into strong hands without having to look for them.

"Hey kiddo." Aaron looked around behind me, so I quickly explained I was the only one in yet.

"We need some help unloading, can you come? I think dad's already started." Right on cue, we heard a low grunt and looked back to see my dad carrying two heavy crates full of water bottles. They both shot into action and I watched them disappear into the corridors.

* * *

Everyone was satiated and happy, leaning back on their chairs in the kitchen. Dinner had been delicious: steaks, salads, even fresh milk to add as a bonus.

I'd never particularly liked any of this food, but it was rare here, perishable and therefore valuable. A treat.

Halfway through my own steak, I'd skewered it on my fork and dropped it on Isaiah's plate, since he was the one sitting closest to me. I'd snack on the potato chips I'd smuggled in in my backpack later when I was alone. I didn't want to share.

For now, though, everyone was full and ready to go to sleep. I got up from the table and, as I usually did when I was home, took Trevor and Aria's hands to bring them to bed. Aunt Mel was with me in no-time, taking Aria off my hands since the four-year-old was too tired to walk back to the living-quarters.

"Aunt Mel?" I asked after I'd tucked my cousins in and kissed their foreheads to wish them sweet dreams. We were both taking a last look at the two already asleep children, both of us standing in the doorway.

She softly closed the curtain that provided some sort of privacy for her and Jared, closing the doorway between their and the children's bedrooms.

"Yes, Tara?" Her voice was soft now. I could see that she was tired from the good meal as well.

"I was wondering…" I started, but I didn't really know how to ask her this question. Was it wrong for me to ask this? Would it make me sound arrogant, like I was more important than the other children?

"You usually are," Mel commented when I didn't continue. She slung an arm around my shoulders and turned the two of us back towards the kitchen, where the others hopefully still would be. "Go ahead, ask me."

"Well," I started again. I swallowed and got it out. "Would you have had Trevor and Aria if I hadn't been born? Do you think Page and Andy would have had Kelly? I mean, mom told me no one wanted children at the time."

She stayed silent for a while, but just as I started to worry that I'd asked too personal a question, she answered. "Well, I can't speak for Page and Andy, you'll have to ask them yourself when they come back from Nate's group." I nodded. I think I might do that. Depending on her answer. "As for me and your uncle. It wasn't so much that we didn't want children. We didn't want to bring children into this life we led. On the run, hiding, scared. Always waiting for the day we'd lose it all. We didn't think it would be fair on the child.  
"But then you came." She smiled at me. "And you were wonderful, such a little miracle. How much joy and excitement you brought into these caves.  
"Still, we were too scared. If we were already so afraid of losing you, how bad would it be to lose our own child? So we decided against parenthood again.  
'But you grew up. You turned eight and you were still fine. On your tenth birthday you were fine. Nothing happened. We started to think that maybe, life here had gotten safer. Plus, we saw that it became more frequent for the Souls to keep their children human. Nothing would happen to the child at least, if we were captured.  
"So yes, in a way, I guess it was you that made us decide to have children. At least you erased our worst fears. It's getting safer out there. And you are still doing well. So in a way, yes, Tara." She shook her head, amused by the amount of words I'd dragged from her once more. "You are such a curious creature, Tara. Trever picked that up from you. He can't wait to go outside for real."

"And you don't mind him going out?" Her mouth pressed into a straight line at the question.

"Of course I'll worry." She sighed. "But like I said, it's getting safer out there. I don't think Trevor would actually be in danger, as long as he didn't talk about the caves to any of the Souls."

"So basically, you're saying you believe that us children are safe out there?" I asked, hoping I wasn't pushing my luck, hoping aunt Mel was sleepy enough not to think anything of it.

"Yes, I guess I am." She yawned, rather loudly and unfeminine. "You should go to bed too, Tara. It's been a long day for you and I think those cogs in your head need to stop turning for a while. You always think too much."

"I didn't know that was a bad thing," I reacted sourly. I squared my shoulder and her arm dropped from me.

"It isn't. Usually. But I guess you're like your father when it comes to that."

"That's what mom says," I admitted. Yes, I was a lot like my father, always thinking, but I was unlike him in a lot of ways too.

My mind wandered, my thoughts weren't pointed towards safety, not in particular. More like… adventure. I longed to figure things out for myself, to know more than what life in the cave could teach me. I wanted to know the world.

And to get to know it, I would have to leave.

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"But mom!"

"No! No way that you are going out there on your own!" She crossed her arms in front of her petite body and tried to look stern. She couldn't really pull it off.

"But aunt Mel said it was safe! I just want to see more of this world, mom! I know I can do it. I don't need you to protect me all the time!"

Her arms flew up in the air. "Ian," she said, glaring back at my dad, "you say something!" Dad was just sitting there, stoic in his chair while he looked at the argument going on between me and mom. He never got involved. He thought it was funny when my mom got riled up, since she so rarely did.

"Tara," he began, but I broke him off.

"You can't seriously take her side in this!" I shouted at him, feeling betrayed that he would do this to me. My dad and I normally got along just fine, but now, when it was really important to me, he choose to pick a side _against_ me? I let out a frustrated grunt and stomped out of their room and into the one adjacent. There, I picked a pair of pajamas off the bed and stomped off to the one person I knew would understand.

"Where are you going?" My mom called after me, no longer angry, but worried now.

"God!" I turned around and shouted back: "I don't want to sleep in my room tonight! It's too close to you and your hypocrisy!" Then I turned again and ran off towards the far end of the living quarters.

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"Freedom?" I called, softly. I didn't want to wake his neighbors. When I heard a soft "Hmmm?" I moved his harmonica door out of the way and stepped in.

He was already in his bed, reading a book while propped up on an elbow. "What are you doing here, Tara?" he asked. His room was small, barely fitting a single bed and a dresser.

"Can I sleep here tonight? My parents are being unreasonable." He nodded, putting a shoelace in between the pages as a bookmark.

"So what did they do today?" I could see that he was trying not to smile. The muscles around the corners of his mouth twitched.

"Can we not talk about it?" I asked, dropping my clothes on his bed and stripping out of the ones I was wearing.

"Tara!" I looked up at him, still holding onto my jeans that were halfway down my thighs. He'd turned his head away and if he didn't have such a dark skin, I would have sworn he was blushing.

"What?" I asked innocently. "It's not like you haven't seen me in my underwear before." I pushed my jeans all the way down and looked at the sober white knickers I was wearing. I guess it wasn't sexy like the lingerie I'd seen on magazines the guys had hidden in their closets. The fact that they didn't match the light blue bra I was wearing suddenly made me feel embarrassed.

"Maybe you should sleep somewhere else, Tara," Freedom suggested. I knew he didn't say it to be mean, but it still stung.

"Why?" I choked out, but it sounded more like an cough than a word, so I scraped my throat and tried again. "Why?" I knelt down on his bed, almost crawling over him to be able to look him in the eyes. "Free?" I craned my neck to put my face right in front of his. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He now had his eyes shut tightly, since he couldn't avert his eyes when I was right in front of them. I sighed, knowing that when he was in one of his moods, he could stay in it for a while. So instead of arguing with him to tell what was wrong, I flipped his blanket up and slid into the bed next to him, my back to his chest, all nice and cuddled up against him. He sucked in a breath. "Tara!"

OK, so now I knew what had been bothering him. I could feel it firm, pressed up against my butt. My eyes grew big at the sensation and I could feel my heart speed up.

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**A/N: As you can guess, the next will be bit of Tara/Freedom goodness. If you don't like graphic, skip to the end, there's a bit there that's important for the story! I'll upload the chapter in a minute!**

**Thank you all for your views and ****_Lady Nyght _****in particular for following this story! As always, please leave a review, I'd love to hear your thoughts!**


	3. Chapter 3: Taking Things Further

**A/N: If you don't like reading graphic sexual content, please scroll down to the line of ***s, the part after that is important to the plot :)**

**Enjoy!**

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CHAPTER THREE: Taking Things Further

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"Free?" My voice sounded hoarser than it normally was. "Is this why you wanted me to leave?" I smirked to myself and gyrated my hips to rub against him.

"Yes," he groaned, as his arms snaked around me, his hands on my hips now, pressing me even harder against him. His hot breath on my neck made me shiver.

"Why?" My breath was no more than a whisper now.

"You're only seventeen, Tara." Those were his words, but his body started moving against mine, his lips finding that soft spot just above my collarbone.

"Almost eighteen," I corrected him, but my words weren't even needed anymore. I had turned my head just so to answer him and his mouth closed over mine.

His tongue immediately sought a way into my mouth and without hesitation, I parted my lips for him. Our breaths came faster as our tongues danced. His right hand stroked up my ribcage and he pushed the cup of my bra up, releasing my left breast while the right was still trapped. Even though his hand, massaging, kneading, softly tugging my nipple, felt heavenly, the bra irritated me, so I got halfway up to release the clasp on my back and shrug the stupid contraption off.

Instead of letting me lie down on my side again, Freedom turned onto his back, pulling me on top of him. Now both of my nipples were being paid the same attention. I could feel the moist gathering in my underwear. I let my head fall back over his shoulder and he kissed my neck, my shoulder. My hands were over his, feeling him work his magic on my breasts, but I was surprised to follow his hand moving further south. Both our fingers reached the hem of my only remaining piece of clothing. There, he hesitated.

"Can I?" I sort of heard him ask. It was hard to follow what he was saying when he suckled my earlobe like that. When I didn't object, his hand slipped under the fabric and left mine behind.

I gasped as I felt his fingers touch my most intimate of places for the first time. I bucked my hips up to meet his touch and he took it as an encouragement.

He started slowly, rubbing slow circles over my clitoris, but he had me shuddering in ecstasy soon enough anyway.

"Ah, Free," I turned my head and was able to touch my lips against the skin of his neck. "Oh, don't stop." His movement had come to a halt when I said his name. "Please go on?" I was amazed that I was practically begging him to do this. His long fingers started moving again. But now, every time the circle took him there, he dipped a fingertip _inside_ me.

I was plain incoherent then. All I could get out were little moans, kitten-like mewling of pleasure. My hand dropped from my stomach and brushed him _there_. _This really is a night for firsts,_ I thought as I let my fingers slide into his underwear as well, touching my fingertips to him.

"Tara, you don't have to," Freedom murmured in my ear, but I could hear the urge in his voice, could feel how aroused he was and I wanted to. My hand closed around him and I started stroking him up and down his length. Now it was his turn to moan and I couldn't have heard a more welcome sound at that moment. I was amazed to find out I couldn't get my fingertips to touch. His skin was soft, softer than anywhere else.

And then he pushed a finger all the way into me. I was a little too loud in expressing my pleasure, causing Free to startle and move his other hand from my breast to my mouth. I breathed heavily as his fingers slid through the wetness and a second finger joined the first. He started moving his hand up and down, his palm rubbing me as he wiggled the fingers inside me. _Oh God._ He had my mouth hanging open, his hand still over it. _Hmmm_. I let my tongue flick out, pulled his thumb into my mouth, sucking on it lightly.

He bucked at that, moving his fingers faster against my inner walls. I started jerking him off faster too. I could feel it building inside me, little jolts running all the way through my body. Warm, warm, it was all so deliciously warm.

"Uhng." He didn't sound too coherent either. "Tara, slow down… I want… you to come… first."

"I'm right there," I managed to get out and when he pressed his lips to my neck, his teeth grazing my skin, it was my undoing. My body exploded into a thousand twinkling lights, fireworks going off all over my skin.

I let out a little squeak when I felt something warm and wet hit my side. "Oh, my god." I could feel it bubble up in my throat, but I couldn't keep it back. I started to giggle softly, picking a dirty rag from Freedom's laundry and wiping the white goo off of me. My big white tee was still at the foot of the bed and I pulled it on quickly.

When I looked back at him again, Free was shaking his head. "Only you could make a guy have the time of his life and then start giggling about it." He stretched his arms out to me. "Come here, you." I crawled up against him, my head on his chest, one leg slung over his. He was smoothing my hair down, since my curls were everywhere after this… experience. His other hand was tracing circles on my lower back.

I was glad Free was so much bigger than me. I felt small and loved and extremely comforted with the way I fitted in his arms now, curled up as a little ball he wouldn't ever let go of.

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******* For some reason this line won't stay here... and just disappear when I save the file. *******

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As I was drifting to sleep, no longer thinking of the spat I'd had with my mom, I heard him say my name. I knew he was talking to me, but I couldn't properly focus on his words with the haze I was in. The words seemed to slur as they formed sentences that were more sound than meaning.

"Thanks so much, Tara," he was saying. _Thanks? For what?_ My tried to open my eyes, but they were too heavy, my body too languid to move. "I love how we can just do this without having to like, feel anything for each other." He chuckled and I wondered why I didn't like the sound that much anymore. "It's great that we just get to _have sex_ without you clinging to me like you're my girlfriend. I mean, I care about you, sure, but I just can't care about you _that_ way."

I felt like he'd poured a bucket of ice water over me. I was suddenly wide awake and I sat up in the bed, glaring at him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I demanded, slapping at his shoulder. He winced when my nails left scratches in his skin.

"What, Tara?" He put on the most innocent face I'd ever seen on him. "I thought I was clear about this. It's purely physical. Nothing else. I thought you knew that? We felt the same way, didn't we?"

"Well, fuck you and your feelings, whatever they are." I got off of the bed and pulled my shoes over my bare feet, hating the feeling of the material against my skin. Freedom reached over to touch my shoulder, but I jumped out of the way, gathering my clothes that were all draped over the end of the bed.

"Tara, do your really have to overreact that way?" I could hear that he was getting annoyed now. _Well, good, I'm pretty annoyed with him too_. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going back!" I stomped once, childish, but it did make me feel better. "I'd rather sleep in my own bed than ever with you again!" To complete the image, I stuck my tongue out before I ran out the door and back to my room.

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**A/N: Please be nice to me? This was my first time writing anything with graphic sexual content. Hope you liked the chapter.**

**As always, thanks for reading and please leave me a review? I'd love to know what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4: On The Road

CHAPTER FOUR: On The Road

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_Stupid Freedom._ I grunted as the sun scorched the top of my head and left my hair glowing warm. I had to get to shade soon.

After storming out of Freedom's room, I'd dressed in my favorite pair of jeans and a grey zipped hoodie, ready to leave as soon as I knew my parents were asleep. They both slept deeply, I knew that from sneaking out of my room at night several times, but I hadn't tried anything like this before. And my mom might be more awake because of our fight.

So it took me a while before I could sneak out again, go to the storage tunnels near the exit and fill my backpack. Lucky for me, there were still some perishables left in the kitchen, which I took with me to snack on a little later.

Now it was already getting light, while I was jogging towards the little overhang where we kept the truck and cars. I could see it in the distance now: I'd be there in about five minutes if I kept this pace up.

I calculated the time I was out. By now, they must have realized I wasn't in my usual places and started to look for me. How long before they figured out I was gone?

When I reached the storage, I realized I'd made a mistake. Could I even take one of the cars? My dad had taught me how to drive, but the other might need it. Then, a smile breaking out on my face, I remembered the old Jeep.

It took me a while to clear the way, get the jeep out and the other cars back in. The thing looked even worse in the sunlight. I hoped it still worked. After uncle Kyle had been stopped by a concerned citizen (the car looked like it was about to break down), he'd gone back out to steal a newer car, one that wouldn't be suspicious and we hadn't had a need for uncle Jared's old jeep anymore.

After three tries, the engine finally roared to life. I chuckled out loud when I felt the wind blow past me as I picked up speed. Finally, finally, I was really free.

* * *

"Well, hello darling," a friendly voice called out as I stepped into the hostel I'd found somewhere in Phoenix. To be honest, I didn't even really know where I was. But I needed a place to sleep after driving around the whole day.

At first, I'd thought of sleeping in the jeep, but it seemed easier to lie my way into a bed than to lie my way out of the question why I was sleeping in a car. So when I'd seen the sign telling me there was a hostel nearby, I'd parked the car as soon as I found it.

"Hi, how are you? I hope I'm not too late." I asked, knowing I was expected to be concerned about coming in at nine in the evening.

"Oh, no, of course not," the friendly lady with the thick southern accent told me as she gestured for me to come closer. "Do you need a room? I've got one left." Before I could answer, she looked at me and frowned. "Are your parents still outside?" she asked me, obviously thinking I was too young to be alone. For once, I cursed the innocent, young looks I'd inherited from my mother. Luckily, I could lie like only a human could.

"I'm alone… High Notes," I answered after I looked at her nametag. A previous Bat, I figured. She must have been here for a while now, though. They'd already stopped doling out mature bodies when I was born and this woman looked like she was over fifty. "I know I'm still a little young, but my parents let me travel alone to fulfill my calling." I quickly ran through the list of things I'd taken with me, at the same time trying to explain my need of a room. "I'm a sketch artist," I tried, waving back at the car in the parking lot. "I travel a lot to see more of the world."

"Oh, how lovely!" she replied, excitedly. She rummaged through something on her desk behind the counter, taking my story for truth without a single doubt. _This is going to be even easier than I thought._ "Alright, sweetheart, let's get you a room then, shall we? Which name can I put down?"

I walked over to the counter and leaned on it with my forearms. "Tara O'Shea," I answered in honesty. A little truth couldn't hurt right? Mom once explained that names were only written down for the hotel or motel's own registration: to see which rooms were taken en what they would have to call their customers. I trusted it was the same for this little hostel.

"Do you know how long you'll be staying?"

"Not really, I think a couple of days maybe."

She nodded and wrote that down too. When she looked up at me again, a wide smile was on her face. "Let me show you the way." High Notes stepped into the hallway on the right of the counter, babbling on as we walked. "How nice to have another artist here. It's usually folk like you that come to stay, of course, people travelling. Where were you before this?"

"Oh, ah, Mexico," I improvised. "I've been doing landscapes of the desert there and I've just come from… Tuscon. I'm taking a bit of a break now." At least I knew I had drawings of the desert in the tattered sketchbook in my backpack. After doing portraits of everyone in the caves, it was pretty much all I there was to draw.

Art had always been a fascination for me. For as long as I can remember, everyone brought pencils and paper back with every raid, for Isaiah, Freedom and me, for our lessons. I had used the precious paper for drawing as much as Sharon would let me, but the boys had never really taken it up.

I made a face as Freedom popped back into my mind. I hoped he was worried about me. _That would serve him just right._ _We'll see how much he doesn't care about me._

"Well, here we are." High Notes stopped at a door with the number three painted on it in bright blue. "Please make yourself at home. And miss O'Shea? If it is not too much trouble, could I maybe see some of your work later?"

"Of course, High Notes," I answered, glad someone was showing interest in my work once more. The endless drawings had become almost mundane at home. No one looked at them anymore. "It'd be my pleasure."

"Well," she said again, her smile growing even broader. "Breakfast is tomorrow at seven, lunch at twelve and then we start cooking for dinner at around five. I think that's all, so I'll leave you to yourself then. Goodnight." She nodded at me to say goodbye and left without further ado.

I watched her stop two doors down to talk to whoever had opened their door. I couldn't quite hear what they were saying, but from the sound of it, it was a man staying there. When High Notes walked on, his head poked around the sill to look at me.

I didn't take my time to look at him, though. Having stood in front of my door for a while now, I felt a little embarrassed that I'd tried to eavesdrop. I quickly let myself into the room.

The room wasn't too big, about the size of my parents' back home, but the bed looked inviting. On the bed stand was a brochure containing the same information High Notes had given me and some more. Four rooms in total, bathroom per two chambers, pitch in with the meals. The rules sounded pretty simple.

As I snuggled into the thick white nightgown a little later, I wondered what my parents were doing. Would they be worried? _Well, of course they are, Tara._ I sighed. I hadn't wanted to hurt them, but they wouldn't let me go another way. Would they try to follow me? I hoped not. I didn't want my dad to put himself in danger for me. Or any of the other humans for that matter.

I yawned and closed my eyes since it was too hard to keep them open anymore. _No,_ I told myself,_ they won't come after me, it would be too hard to find me anyway._ With that to put my mind at ease, I slowly drifted off to sleep.

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**A/N: This was a slow and tedious chapter to write, but I needed a bridge to get from this first part of the story to the next. I promise the next chapter will be better!**

**Thanks for reading and let me know what you're thinking by leaving a review! Because seriously guys, 95 views and only one review?**


	5. Chapter 5: Stalked

CHAPTER FIVE: Stalked

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_Maybe I should have just packed more clothes,_ I thought, holding the bright green shirt up in front of me and looking in the mirror.

After having spent two days in the hostel in Phoenix and a couple more on the road, everything I had was grimy. I'd been able to wash everything in the motel I stayed at three days ago, but still. If you didn't bring much, it wouldn't last long.

So that's how I ended up in a clothes store in Santa Cruz. I'd thought of just going north from Phoenix, but the highway turned east-west. Figuring I should at least go see the ocean, I headed west. I was planning to go after checking into a hotel.

So far, only one receptionist had noticed the absence of silver in my eyes, but my fictional back story had covered it up just fine. He'd said he was honored to meet some as rare as me, wanted to have some of my artwork. When I had come out of my room the next morning, my sketch of a woman I'd seen on the streets in Phoenix was already framed and hung on the wall.

I sighed and put the green shirt down again. I hated shopping for clothes. My father had laughed at that, telling me it was something women were supposed to enjoy. Even my mother could remember her body's previous Soul enjoying the frilly girls' clothing. It just wasn't for me.

I rummaged through the piles and ended on a pale pink blouse, again holding it in front of me to see how it looked.

"I wouldn't go with that shirt if I was you," a voice noted from my left. "Not really your color, I'd say." I turned my head and tried my best not to scowl at the guy standing there.

"Thank you," I said through clenched teeth, "but I think I can make my own choices when it comes to _clothing_." I did put the shirt away, though. He was right, this color made my already light skin look even paler. I went on to look through the rest of color-sorted piles of shirts, thinking the clothes-critic had moved on and gone away to bother someone else, but when I turned back around with an off-white tank top, he was still there.

"I'm sorry," I addressed him, "but can I help you?" I watched him shake his head, his blonde hair just long enough to sway with the motion.

"No, I don't think so." At that, he smiled a cocky lopsided grin and my heart skipped a beat. Honestly, it should not be allowed for random strangers to do that. While I held up the top and pretended to look at myself, I checked out the guy who had apparently appointed himself to be my shop stalker.

He was standing with his back to me now, whatever he was waiting for, I didn't know. He was wearing a pair of jeans, suspenders hanging down over his (nicely shaped) behind. From here, I could only see his brown hoodie, a darker brown tribal wrapping around his side and out of sight. He was tall too, probably taller than my dad and uncle Kyle – and I'd considered them tall. My own height might have something to do with the fact that I thought everybody was tall, though.

I glanced back at the mirror. No, I definitely hadn't gotten my dad's tall genes. I actually looked a lot like my mom: small, thin, a roundish, not quite oval face with full lips and curly hair everywhere. My nose was straight, though, like my dad's, and I'd gotten his colors too: blue eyes, black hair. I looked younger than I was, sixteen at best, though I was turning eighteen in a two days.

I felt a sting at that thought. _My first birthday without my parents, without everyone. _I gathered the tank top, along with the cut-off jeans and the multi-colored set of shirts I'd found earlier and, further ignoring the weird stranger, went over to the cash registry. He followed.

"Is that all?" the cashier asked as she scanned the barcodes. I nodded, but before I could tell her yes, a black leather jacket was dropped on the counter as well.

"This one too," said the guy, not even glancing at me when I gaped at him.

"But I don't nee-"

"Shhh." The cashier hadn't heard my objection, nor the guy shushing me for it, so he just packed everything into a linen bag, which he proceeded to pass to me. I could almost hear my mom telling me she felt guilty for taking but not giving back to the Soul society. I merely shrugged at the thought. I was passing out my artwork, wasn't I? That was a valid Calling amongst the Souls. Right?

"Thank you," I told the kind Soul behind the counter, nodding at him as a goodbye and stepping away. I didn't notice that the guy was still following me until I got to the jeep and put the bag on passenger seat, along with my backpack.

I let out a little squeal when he was standing right there when I turned around from closing the passenger side door. "Don't scare me like that! Are you stalking me now?"

"Merely interested," he said, that smirk still on his face. "Try the jacket on." I frowned at his weird obsession with my clothing and, hoping he would disappear once I gave in, stuck my hand through the open window to pull it out of the jeep. I shrugged it on and it fit perfectly. _Huh._

"Well, see, it fits," I told him. "Can you go now?"

"Nope." He stuck his hand out towards me. "I'm Blackmoore. Callum Blackmoore." The fact that he said it in the James Bond way made him even more ridiculous to me. Uncle Kyle had talked about the famous British movie spy. I always hoped we'd come across an old copy sometime, though the chance was minimal. The Souls had destroyed every movie with the tiniest tidbit of violence.

"Well, Callum Blackmoore, you must be Seeker material, because you are straight-out annoying me."

"And you must be human seen the fact that you don't have silver in your eyes." I gasped at that, stepping back when he came closer. He put his hands on the cabin of the jeep, on both sides of my face, effectively trapping me against the door. He cocked his head to the side and stared at me with curiosity.

"And if I am?" He was really close now, so close I could smell the fresh laundry scent coming off his faded moss-colored shirt.

"Well, it would explain your rudeness, for one."

"What are you talking about?" I was exasperated. _I'm the rude one?_ "You are the one following me around. A service not requested."

He smiled and stepped even closer to me. He had to bow his head almost in a ninety degree angle to look at me now. I craned my head up and stared him straight into his eyes – a strange mix of blue and green, with a hint of silver I couldn't properly detect while his eyes were shaded.

"You haven't told me your name." He said it as if it was painfully obvious. _The only thing missing is the condescending eye-roll aunt Mel likes to give me so often._ As if he read my thoughts, the gesture followed. _Nevermind. It would be nice if he could stop looking at me, though._ I couldn't look away from his stare, captivated by the way his grin shone through to them. _He'd be pretty hot if he wasn't such a psycho. OK, maybe he is now, too._ My heart started beating faster, I could feel it pounding away in my throat.

When he finally broke eye-contact, to look at my jacket and pull the collar straight, I sighed in relief. _What the hell had that been?_

"It's Tara," I answered him, my voice breathy. _Oh, come on, Tara! Get a grip!_ I didn't dare look up at him again, so instead I stared a hole into his chest. _His nice, muscular chest…_ "Tara O'Shea." I didn't see the point in lying. He was a Soul after all and no one was following me. Apart from him, that is.

"Tara O'Shea," he tried out. "Nice to meet you. Where are you going?" I liked the way he pronounced my name, the A in O'Shea almost separated from the E-sound. _O-Sheah._

"You ask a lot of questions for a stranger," I noted. A couple of golden hairs were visible on his chest, since his shirt was so loose and he was leaning forward. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

"We're no strangers anymore, Tara. And you are very suspicious of me."

"That's because _you_ are suspicious, Callum. You might know my name, but you don't know me. I'm going to get a hotel room and go to the beach. I've never seen the ocean before."

He pushed himself off the door, finally releasing me from my spot against the car. He brushed a hand through his hair and gave me another grin. "I'll just have to get to know you then. So I'm gonna tag along." He did a one-handed thief vault into the bed of my jeep and sat down, his back against the cabin.

I just stood there, my eyes probably as big as saucers.

"Well, aren't you gonna drive, Tara?"

I shook my head to get it clear again and then some more in disbelief as I walked around to the driver's side. If I didn't let him, he'd probably find a different way to follow me. _And really, what could it hurt?_

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**A/N: So what do you think of Callum so far? I know he sounds a little off in the head xD**

Thanks for reading! And a special thankyou to laurlielove for following this story and jkmac3 for adding it to favourites!

**As always, reviews are most welcome!**


	6. Chapter 6: Thunderstruck

CHAPTER SIX: Thunderstruck

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"You should get an ice-cream cone over there," Callum noted as we walked down the beach side by side. He pointed over to a little white-topped cart up on the sidewalk. "They've got the best gelato you'll ever taste."

"Maybe I'll get some later." I looked down at the sand under my toes. I'd taken my shoes off as soon as we'd come down to the beach, which wasn't long after Callum had jumped into my jeep. We'd been here for a few hours now, just walking back and forth, sitting down and looking at the ocean from time to time.

So many Souls were here, enjoying the hot August weather, jumping when the water hit their bare feet, laughingly building sand castles, walking their dogs. It was so busy that we had to watch our steps at first. Now, it was a little quieter.

"Soooo…" Callum let his voice trail off. I looked up at him, studying his face carefully. I wondered why he'd insisted on coming along with me. It wasn't like we'd had the most interesting day in the world. Of course, for me it was, but for him? Didn't he live right here in Santa Cruz?

"Soooo." I copied him. We hadn't really been talking since we left the parking lot at the shopping mall. Just small things, things he pointed out to me, like the ice-cream cart.

But I did feel more comfortable around him now. It was weird how a couple of hours of silence could do that. It felt to me like I'd known him forever, though I knew nothing about him. Well, apart from the fact that he was a crazy person who jumped into other people's cars. And had a knack for knowing your exact dress size.

"I was wondering, Tara," Callum went on now. As he spoke, his fingers butted into my hand. I pulled my hand away, but he captured my fingers in his and held on tightly. "What are you doing here in Santa Cruz all on your own? You're… what? Fourteen?"

"No!" I put on my angry face and shoved him in exasperation. I hadn't noticed we'd gotten that close to the waterline, though, so he went down with a splash, his hoodie and jeans immediately soaked. "Oh, God, I'm sorry!" I put my hand out to help him up, but instead he grabbed it and pulled me onto the surf too.

The cold water seeped into my clothes in no time. "Damn you, Callum!" I sat up, flicking the mud off my hands. He was just laughing at me. Now, I'd always had a temper, but most of the time, I was quite able to hide it. "I'm soaked!"

"Yeah, well, so am I. Thought you should at least experience the ocean." I glared at him, but he was just giving me that stupid, stupid smirk of him.

"I wasn't planning on swimming. I would have gotten a swimsuit if I was." I got up, leaving him sitting there, and started walking back to my car. "And by the way, I'm almost eighteen, you jerk." Before I even got a few feet away he was standing next to me and grabbed me by my wrist. "Let go!" I hissed at him. Really, no one had made my blood boil like he did before.

"Nope." Next thing I knew, I was slung over his shoulder and he was walking straight into the water. I pounded my hands on his back, but he didn't seem to even feel it, let alone it would make him take me back.

"Callum, let me go!" I said as he was waist deep into the water and I could feel the waves hitting my feet.

"You want me to let you go?" he asked, innocently. I could imagine that smirk on his face. It had been gone for most of the afternoon, but for some reason, he seemed to be back in a crazy mood again.

"Yes, I told you to let me goooooo- " I screamed when he let me go and dropped me straight into the water. It closed right over me and I tasted the salt as it filled my mouth. I panic, I thrust my arms wildly and I hit his legs. Finally, my feet found the floor and I pushed myself up until I was standing, the water coming up to just under my breasts. I shivered now that the air seemed much colder.

I was breathing heavily, trying to control the shaking that came over me. "Bastard! I can't swim!" My voice had a high pitch to it I'd not heard before. "You can't just throw people into the ocean!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he muttered, trying to grab my arms, but I swatted at his hands. "Tara, calm down." He managed to circle his arms around me and pulled me into his chest. "Shh, it's alright, it's not that deep." His hand moved up and down my back, trying to comfort me.

It took a while for my breathing to slow down. I tried to move, but he was still holding me tight. My hands were stuck in between us, on his stomach, and as I tried to move them, I could feel the muscles underneath. My cheeks started burning.

"Ah, Callum," I tried, uncertain. "Could you…"

"Oh, of course," he sounded surprised and freed me from his arms immediately. His hands stayed on my shoulders though. "You okay now?" I nodded and he turned away from me, gently guiding me back to the beach with his hand on my elbow.

We didn't speak on the way back to my car. He turned around while I changed clothes behind the cabin and then I didn't know what to do.

Things were awkward. They had been from the first moment he'd spoken to me, but I thought we'd come to a sort of… maybe friendship this afternoon. He hadn't seemed like such a lunatic.

"I'm gonna go," I told him as I climbed into the driver's seat. I started the engine without another word, but he was quick, leaning onto the open window with his forearms. His head was right at my height now. "See ya," I said, "or maybe not."

Before I could press the gas pedal, he'd opened the door and pulled me towards him. I had but a second to figure out what he was going to do, but I wasn't sure I would have been able to stop him if I had known.

His lips crashed down on mine, his hands in my hair, holding my head still. A fire spread through my body, lightning fast. A little moan escaped my throat and without wanting to, I moved, turning towards him, my legs hanging of the side of my seat.

And I kissed him back, alright. Heated, passionate kisses, his tongue sneaking into my mouth and battling for dominance with mine. His hand wandered down my back, finding the little bit of skin my shirt exposed now that my arms were up, linked around his neck.

Wanting more, wanting him closer, I wrapped one leg around his hip, moved one hand to his stomach. I wasn't so embarrassed by the feel of his muscles this time.

_My, he's an excellent kisser._ _Whatever was I thinking when I said Freedom was a great kisser?_ The thought of Freedom, of home suddenly pushed it's way into my mind, made me remember where exactly I was and what I was doing. Well, I already knew what I was doing, but now my mind was clear enough to let me know this was wrong, that I shouldn't be doing this.

When I broke away from his lips, his moved down to my jawline, but I pushed him away, all of a sudden angry with him. He looked confused, still staring at me. His lips were red, as I expected mine to be, swollen slightly and it only made him look better. We were both breathing hard.

I pushed him away from me with my foot on his chest and quickly pulled the door shut.

"What are you doing, Tara?" he demanded, quickly coming to his senses. "Where are you going?"

I shot a look at him, embarrassed that I'd let him get to me like that. "You can't just go around kissing random strangers like that! I'm leaving."

"Well, you didn't exactly object now, did you?" he shot back as I restarted the engine. It must have shut down while we were… _How long had we been doing that?_ As I pulled away from the parking spot, I heard Callum shout after me: "See you tomorrow!" and even though I fervently hoped I wouldn't ever see him again, my heart pounder faster at the thought.

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**A/N: First of all, thanks for reading again :) It's really flattering to see the views go up that quickly! This is my best viewed story so far, including the ones on fictionpress.**

**I know the chapters have been coming up frequently and I'm sorry to have to say they might not be coming (twice) daily anymore, I've got some finals this week, but in the weekend I'll probably be getting more active with writing agian!**

**Thank you so much to my new followers: Rebellion7, Noctua Egestas, Lorna Roxen and MxM! MxM and laurielove also thanks for putting Only Human in your favourites list! It makes me really happy ;)**


	7. Chapter 7: A Place to Stay

CHAPTER SEVEN: A Place To Stay (REUPLOAD BECAUSE DOC MANAGER WAS BEING A #$U!%#$U #)

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The next morning I awoke with a start. Sweat was dripping down my face and back and my breaths came fast. I pressed my hand to my chest, over my heart. J_ust a nightmare,_ I told myself, turning around to swing my legs out of the bed.

I knew what nightmares were – from faint memories of ghosts following me when I was just a kid – but I'd never really had them when I was older. Now I found it hard to shake the feeling of water filling my lungs, breath escaping for the last time…

I shook my head and got up to walk to the bathroom and splash some water in my face. Once I was in front of the mirror, I found it hard to do so. I still looked frightened – eyes wide and pupils dilated. My curls stuck out in every direction.

My face was ashen, so I pinched my cheeks a couple of times to get a little bit of color on them. _Better_, I thought.

The shower – something I had enjoyed most on my raid – was now just a reminder of the nightmare. I tried to get clean and out of the tub as soon as possible.

I looked at my meager amount of possessions splayed over the bed. The clothes from yesterday were in a plastic bag by the door – the dry ones had gotten wet again from… from my _interaction_ with Callum. Just one pair of shorts and a white blouse left. I sighed. _More shopping today._ My sketchpad was almost full too, I had to get another of those. My pencil case was still full of long, sharp pencils, so that wouldn't be a problem. _And do some washing,_ I reminded myself.

My eyes shot to the leather jacket hanging over the back of the chair, but went straight back to the backpack. _Could I maybe just leave it there? It was warm enough not to wear it._

Even though it was high summer, it was a lot colder here than it was in the Arizona desert. It usually cooled down a little during the monsoon, but whenever it was dry in between, the scorching sun would heat everything up again. Here, the sea breeze brought a little comfort from the warmth.

* * *

Eventually practicality won out over my feelings about the jacket. The morning actually felt chilly and my hoodie was still drenched and dirty. Plus, I had to admit, the jacket actually looked really good on me.

The little bell above the door rung loudly when I stepped into the arts supplies shop. Someone came out the back and we exchanged greetings before I started looking around.

I had never really had anything but pencil and paper to work with. It was very tempting to clean every single shelf in this store and start experimenting with acrylic paint, crayons, charcoal.

"Are you sure there is nothing I can help you with?" the silver-haired man behind the counter asked again and I smiled at him and nodded no, thanks, I was good. Then I turned back to him.

"Actually, there is." He came closer, eager to help me with whatever I needed. "See, I was wondering, do you have any idea where I might get the best view of the sunset over the ocean? I really want to get that down on paper."

"Ah, sure, let me draw you a map, come on over here, sweetheart." He shuffled back to a little desk and took a while to sit down on the chair. "Let's see…" He started drawing the outline of the coast. "Here is Lighthouse Point Park. I take my wife there every Wednesday. The sunset is beautiful from up there." He passed me the note, directions now scribbled on it. "We're too old now to go up on the cliffs, too dangerous you know, but I think that you could get a really nice view from there."

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I cursed my past self for taking the jeep.

I pointlessly pressed the buttons of the radio, punched them when I got frustrated.

No radio, no air conditioning… the jeep was indeed very old compared to the cars uncle Kyle had provided for us.

It was starting to get warm now. After shopping around, I'd gone back to the hotel I'd found last night to leave my old clothes and pack nothing more than a giant beach towel, my old and brand new sketchbooks, the pencil case, some bottles of water and my bottle of sunblock.

The open windows only provided me with a bit of relief from the heat. I was glad when I reached the beach, where I quickly got out of the car and parked myself on the sand, halfway in the shade, my legs out in the sun.

"Oh wow," a voice came from behind me. I leaned back to see who hovered over me, only to be greeted by the silhouette of a giant sunhat. I had to blink a couple of times to discern the person underneath it.

"Uh, hi?"

"Sorry! Sorry!" the girl sat down on her knees in the sand next to my towel immediately and stuck out her hand for me to shake. I took it cautiously. I wasn't sure if the Callum-craziness was just that or whether it had something to do with this city. "I'm Twice The Light, but please just call me Twice. I was just on my way to get a drink when I saw you drawing away and decided to take a look." Her bright smile fell from her face and she pouted her lips slightly. "I'm sorry, I know it's rude. I hope you don't mind."

I chuckled at her innocent look. "No, it's fine, Twice." I turned my sketchbook to show her what I was working on. She held her hands out and asked me if she could hold it. When I gave it to her, she looked it up and down a couple of times, holding it further away from her and then so close that I wondered if there was enough light between her eyes and the sheet to even see anything.

"Oh, wow, I wish I could draw like that." She held the sketchbook next to me and then passed it back. "She looks like you. Self-portrait?" I shook my head while I took it back gingerly.

"My mom, actually. I sort of miss her," I admitted. When I looked back at the lithe girl with short, light brown hair, I noticed a weird look on her face and I realized I must have sounded like my mom was dead or gone from this planet. So I decided to explain. Well, as best as I could, leaving out the part about living in a rebel cell of humans in a cave system in the middle of the Arizona desert and running away from that home because I was sick of being treated as a child and not knowing more about the world I lived in. So basically I told her a big lie. _It's who I'm now, though_, I reasoned with myself. _So it's not that bad a lie, right?_

"Well, nice to meet you, Tara," Twice said after I'd finished explaining. "I've practically never been from my parents' sides." She looked back at the picture. "I bet you must miss her a lot. I can't imagine being away for so long." She slapped her legs at that point, getting up from her kneeling position. "But I should get going, my little brother is waiting for that drink." She turned her hat on her head and smiled broadly again. "See you around?"

"Sure!" _Did that sound too eager?_ I realized I actually wanted to get to know this girl, this stranger. Was that what friendship would be like? I hadn't been planning on it, so I blurted out a decision made on a whim. "I'm going to be here in Santa Cruz for a while I think. So maybe we'll run into each other again." _Or maybe not. It's a big city._ I sighed.

"Well," Twice started and I looked back up, surprised she was still there. "Some friends of mine and I are having a sort of party by the lighthouse. There's going to be a bonfire too. If you want to come…"

I couldn't help smiling. "I'd love to. Thanks, Twice. I'll be there." She gave me nod and a little wave, then turned around and walked off in the direction she'd been headed before stopping by me.

One glance at the portrait of my mother I was drawing from memory made me wonder whether everyone at home was making me out to be a traitor. Would they know I was fine? How would dad be holding up? I could just picture him, pacing around their room, or sitting on my bed, looking at the half-torn teddy bear he'd gotten me when I was just a baby. And even though I knew I had done just that by running away without so much as a word, I fervently hoped I hadn't broken his heart.

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**A/N: Chapter number Seven! That would count as one chapter uploaded a day, I'm surprising myself.**

**Thanks to dianaemrys15 for adding this to your favourites! And to all of you for your lovely reviews, they are most welcome! I really enjoy reading your reactions.**

**Well, guess where Twice is from xD**

**REQUEST: could you guys let me know what your favourite flower is? Reasons will be revealed later :p**


	8. Chapter 8: Petals in the Wind

**CHAPTER EIGHT: Petals in the Wind**

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I came to the lighthouse point early. I had spent the rest of my day figuring out whether or not I could hang out with a bunch of Soul teenagers without somehow betraying my family, but eventually I figured it couldn't do any harm.

I was just settling down on the grass at the point of the overhanging cliff with my sketchbook, when I saw the first group arrive. I watched as they set up a number of foldup chairs and started building an even pile of wood, which must be for the bonfire.

I wanted to go over to them, but the way they were stacking the logs and twigs looked almost religious, everything last thing laid down in reverence, every touch to the pyre lingering. I didn't want to feel like an intruder.

So I kept my distance, looking over my shoulder every so often as I jotted down the windsurfers riding the waves in the distance. I sketched the two little kids still playing in the sand as their parents watched them from their towel splayed out on the golden beach. My pencils stayed in motion as rays of light caressing the waves appeared on my paper and the light puffy clouds drifted into my picture.

I didn't even realize the amount of time that had passed when I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I suppressed a yelp and looked up to see the now familiar straw hat.

"Hi Twice," I said, flipping the sketch pad shut and putting my pencils away.

"Hey," she replied, that wide smile on her face again. "I'm glad you came. I wasn't sure you would." She stuck her hand out to me to help me up, after which she walked with me towards the big group that had now gathered around the pyre. Before we reached them, she turned around and stopped me. "I should probably tell you it's not just any party." Her face fell at that, the smile disappearing.

"What is it?" I extended my hand to lay it on her shoulder. I saw a light glisten in her eyes and started worrying for real now. "Twice, are you okay?"

She gave a sad sort of chuckle and wiped at her eyes. "Ah, yes, I am. I'm sorry." She shrugged and squared her shoulders. "It's more of a memorial night. I…" She paused and gestured towards the whole group. "We all used to have a friend called Lily. She… had a disease, a form of cancer that we should have been able to treat. But somehow her body didn't accept the treatment. I was sixteen when she died and we've all been coming here every year to remember her."

What do you say at such a moment? I didn't know. So I was glad when we were both distracted by the fire suddenly lighting up behind her. She seemed to slide right back into her smiley role and ushered me towards the table with food and drinks.

"I hope you don't mind that the mood might be a little down," she told me and I vehemently shook my head. "We try to keep it light, but.. you know." She shrugged again, as if she could shake death itself from her shoulders. "Let me introduce you to some people."

We went around the group, Twice chatting about and catching up, me shaking hands and trying my very best to remember the names of all the people present. With the light of the fire at my back, it was easy to discern the souls from the few humans; their eyes broke the fire into a million little lights that danced all over the place.

Everyone I spoke to told me a story about Lily, of how they met her, about how brave she was when she was ill, about what a great friend she had been. I was talking to a girl called Tracy, or Kacey, or something like that, about how Kara had once helped her save a sparrow with a broken wing, when I heard Twice behind me.

"… wanted to introduce you to this girl I met on-"

She was cut off by a voice that sent a shiver across my spine. "Oh, but I know her, Twice." As I turned around to face the cocky grin that would no doubt be there, he continued, "We've met before, haven't we, Tara."

* * *

"You guys know each other?" Twice's eyebrows shot up as she twirled one of her short locks of hair around her finger in curiosity.

"We met a couple of days ago," Callum explained, not taking his eyes off of me to answer her. "She was having a bit of a clothing crisis."

"Huh. Well.. I'll leave her with you, then, Cal. I've got to get ready." Before I could even object, she gave me this little wave and went off. "See you in a bit, Tara!"

She disappeared into the crowd and I was left with the only other person I knew in Santa Cruz. I let my eyes linger on where Twice had disappeared, just to postpone having to look at the guy who had my heart racing and my brain shutting down.

A hand came into my line of sight and Callum tugged the collar of my jacket. _The_ jacket. "Glad you seem to like it." I pulled my gaze up to him and even though they were shadowed because he had his back to the fire, the color of his eyes was visible because of the dancing lights.

I felt the sudden urge to step closer to him, to touch his arm, his chest, anywhere, just to feel the warmth of his skin against my fingers. So I did the sensible thing and bunched my fingers into fists to keep me from reaching out.

"It's not too warm," I answered him, not wanting to like something he'd picked out for me too much. "Soooo…" I tried to think of something we could talk about that wouldn't make me want to snog him to death at the sound of his voice. What was it about a bonfire that made the mood so romantic? "How did you know Lily?" I was sure that was the right topic. Again, I was wrong.

"I'd rather not talk about her." He passed me one of the cups he was holding and I took it automatically. It had some sort of brown fluid in it. I wasn't drinking it, that was for sure. "Besides, I think we're going to start soon." For a moment he looked sad too, though it was so short that I wasn't sure I'd seen it right.

"Start what?" I asked, looking around to see if there was something going on. Everyone seemed to still be talking, just like before.

"Our… I guess you could call it a ceremony, for Lily." He reached into the pocket of his hoodie and pulled out a short branch of dried white flowers. He twirled it around between his fingers, careful not to hurt the petals.

"What kind of flower is it?" I asked him, curious as to why he was carrying it with him. He didn't look up when he answered, as taken in by the flower as he had been with me just before.

"Almond blossom, from last spring. I dried them, since they're really hard to get this time of year." He traced a finger across the edge of one of the petals. My curiosity got the best of me.

"So why do you have almond blossom on you?"

"You'll see in a minute." Then he looked up from the flower and straight into my eyes. "Do you have flowers with you?"

I patted my pockets, even though I knew I didn't. As I looked around, I saw there were others with all sorts of flowers in their hands too. "I didn't know I was supposed to bring any."

"Not your fault," Callum said. I heard a soft _snap_ behind me and turned back to see him offer me a part of the branch.

"Are you sure I can use yours?" I asked as I carefully closed my fingers around the stem. A smile – unlike the other ones he'd given me, genuine – tugged at his lips.

"You need flowers," was all he said.

* * *

Twice's voice piped up, making the group of thirty or so people quiet down and huddle closer to where she was speaking. Callum guided me closer to her too, his hand on the small of my back gently pushing me ahead of him. He could easily look over my head.

"Thank you for coming again, everyone," Twice said. She was holding a small bouquet of blue flowers I recognized as star flowers. I looked back at the almond blossom in my hands and again wondered why we all had different flowers.

"I know that Lily would have been overjoyed to see all of you here tonight. Today it's six years since she had to leave us all. Lily was my best friend. This girl made the world more fun, a nicer, better place to be. She made things interesting.

"When she was dying, I spent every day with her. In the end, she asked me if I would remember her and I told her I would never forget her. She made me promise that every year, I would gather all her friends and have a party, for her." A tear streaked across her cheek, one glistening trail down her face. "Well, we're all here again. So here's to you, Lily." Twice turned around to face the bonfire, making it harder for us to make out her words. I followed her silhouette's moves.

"Lily, I send you these flowers, because of your courage. The courage you had when you were facing death and the courage you gave me to be able to live without you. I love you, dear friend." With that, Twice threw the bouquet into the fire and stepped back.

One by one, Twice's friends – Lily's friends – came up to the fire, said their words and gave the flowers to the fire. I watched as they all told the meaning behind the plants, their colors, their shapes, as they told Lily what she had meant to them.

"Scarlet tulips, Lily, because you wanted so much more in life than you got."

"You were the most innocent I've ever met. You died too young," one of them said as he threw a branch of white Lilacs into the flames.

"Petunia's, because your presence always soothes me."

"Cherry blossoms as a symbol of your kindness."

"Well, you know what forget-me-nots are for."

"Pansies for all the thoughts we shared."

On and on they went, every person filling in a bit of the blank painting that Lily was to me. Roses for the love she held, lotus flowers for her truthfulness, anemones for unfading love even after these six years, white poppies for the dreams Lily had. Lilies, because of her name of course, but also because they represented purity.

The time came where only Callum and I would be left to be next and I shuffled in my spot, uneasy with the idea that I would have to speak to a person I'd never met in my life. Again, I felt like an intruder. After hearing so many loving words about this young girl, this girl that had died younger than I was now, I could understand the care with which the pyre had been built.

When the girl with the sunflowers turned away from the fire, Callum caught my hand and tugged it slightly. Confused, I followed him towards the fire. I could feel the warmth against my skin, the light breeze only giving the slightest bit of cool.

He didn't speak when we stood where everyone else had stood. He didn't let go of my hand, either. His thumb ran up and down the knuckle of my index finger. I looked up at him and even though he was looking straight into the fire, I felt like the nod was for me, a sign for me to go ahead.

As I held out the blossom, I didn't really have to think about what I wanted to say anymore.

"I wish I had gotten a chance to know you."

The dried flowers burnt to ashes in no time at all. Suddenly, I fervently hoped Lily was there, that Lily could hear my words. That she knew what she meant to all these people.

Callum had let go of my hand at some point, I wasn't sure when. I only noticed when he finally spoke up, his voice a little coarse.

"Lil, as always I bring you almond blossoms. Because you and I, we exchanged promises. Well, these stand for those promises." His hand shot up and shakily, he pushed his hair from his face. "You promised to wait for me, wherever you are now. You'd better still be there, sis."

I couldn't hide my shock at that one little word. Lily, this wonderful, lovely girl, was Callum's sister? This whole thing… this whole night, for someone _he_'d lost. My heart ached a little for him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, stroke his head to offer him some comfort. I reached out to take his hand again, but he moved it towards his flowers at the same time.

"Because I am keeping up my promise, Lil," he continued. "I am not letting anything stand in the way of my happiness. I am living life to the fullest." At that, he threw the branch and it landed in the middle of the flames.

As if it was a sign, the bonfire suddenly shot up higher, roared a little louder for all of us to hear.

And in the light of that bright light, I looked at Callum, staring in the distance. Even though he was standing in the midst of all these people, he looked completely and utterly alone.

When he started turning around, he shot me short glance, a sad nod, then smiled brightly at the others. "Let's have party!"

* * *

**A/N I'm sorry this is kind of a sad chapter! A happy one is coming up :P**

**Also, sorry for taking so long to update, I've been incredibly busy with school, finals and assignments and stuff.  
I hope to get back to a regular updating scedule again.**

**I think I used all the flowers from the responses, sorry if I forgot one!**

Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing, it means soooo much.

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	9. Chapter 9: A Guilty Conscience

I was endless. Spinning, spinning, spinning to the music, the world around me blurred and I never wanted it to end.

After the ceremony, a couple of people had pulled out some instruments and they were now playing some very uplifting melody filled with quick violin notes and a sweeping beat, perfect for dancing.

In the motion, I could hardly even make out Twice's face in front of me. I was high on happiness, so much that when we stopped dancing, I didn't even mind that it was Callum's arms that caught me when I fell over in my dizziness.

"I think you need to stop spinning, Tara." I just hung my head back into my neck and looked up at him. He looked weird from this angle. I smiled broadly.

"It's so much fun, though," I explained. He smiled too, but instead of retorting, he hoisted me up until I was standing straight on my own two feet, turned towards him now. His hands moved until his arm was around my waist, still sort of holding me up.

In the light of the fire, his hair had a bright golden hue and it was hard to look him straight in the eyes without the light reflecting into mine. Without even realizing that I was doing this, I touched my fingers to the light stubble on his jaw. It felt rough against my skin.

"You need to shave," I murmured, feeling his gaze heavy on me. I stared up to meet his eyes, noticing they were now bigger and rounder than normal. He wasn't scared, was he?

One of his hands came up to cup mine against his cheek. He felt warm. The sensation was exciting, new. If I just leaned forward a little bit…

I touched my lips to his, intending for the kiss to be light, happy, innocent. But as soon as our lips met, a desire so strong pulsed through me, that I wasn't able to keep myself under control.

Callum let out a sound from low in his throat, moved both his hands to grab my sides and pull me closer to him. I loved the feeling of his soft hair between the fingers of my right hand, of the fabric of his hoodie in the other. I crushed his lips now, somehow feeling we were both fighting for dominance and neither of us willing to concede.

All around us, people stopped dancing and even though I registered that fact somewhere, deep, deep within my mind, I could not focus on it with Callum so, so close to me. It was like we were melting together, like the universe around us shrank until it held nothing more than him and me and the breath that we shared.

A tap on my shoulder and the clearing of a throat behind me is what broke the two of us apart again and – slightly embarrassed to be honest – I leaned my forehead on Callum's chest.

I felt his chest push up against me when he breathed in and then he said: "What do you want, Twice." His voice was a low growl and oh, it stirred something deep inside me.

"For you to not gnaw my friend to pieces, is what I want, thank you very much." A blush crept up my neck and I turned my head so I could see her, my ear now pressed against Callum's shirt.

"I'm okay, Twice," I managed to work out of my mouth and as her eyes turned to me, light flashed into my eyes and I closed my own eyes. "Really I am, if you could just take a step to the left."

"Well, if you say so." I heard her sigh and I could feel the tension leave the air around us. "I was just coming to say bye. I'm driving some of my friends home, so I have to get going now." I stood up straight at that and giving in to the impulse, I hugged my new friend. She patted my hair and kissed my cheek. "I'll come find you at the beach tomorrow, okay?" she asked as we let go of each other and I nodded. "Bye now."

"See you, Twice." She walked away and I followed her hat through the crowd of people until I could not see the small group that walked away anymore.

* * *

Callum and I sat in the bed of the jeep, our backs against the cabin. It was really dark now and most of the people attending Lily's remembrance party were either gone or leaving.

We'd been silent at first, when we made our way down the path towards the parking, but now we were exchanging stories. He said more than I did, but it was no wonder. From what I could piece together of his life, he'd travelled quite a lot with his family, though Santa Cruz had always been his home – where they would return every so often and stay a while.

In any and all ways, he had experienced so much more… more _life_ than I had and I felt jealous of it. My stories were bland, the most interesting ones being stories others had told me. I couldn't tell him about my own life – about the caves and the desert and how beautiful the desert looked right after the rains and about the people I loved so much.

It didn't take long for a comfortable silence to set in, in which I leaned my head on his shoulder – which was low enough because he was slumped down so far he was almost lying down – and looked at the twinkling stars above me. I could see less of them here, compared to the desert, but somehow they seemed more precious from the back of my car. I couldn't explain why.

Maybe it was because of the company I was in, maybe it was because everything was more special away from home. Or maybe it was because the whole evening had felt so magical, that the effects of it hadn't quite worn off of my perception yet.

In any case, I found myself thinking about this amazing person so many other people still wanted to remember in such a loving way, and wondering how much Callum might be like her.

It took a while before I managed to ask him about her.

"What was she like?" He didn't change positions, but simply craned his neck to look out to the sky too. He thought it over for a while before he answered. "I was thirteen – almost fourteen – when she was dying. I didn't know her that well at all. I think.. if I had known what was coming.. maybe I'd spent more time with her." He took a breath, then sighed so deep he must have been dying to suck some air in again. "But she was kind and gentle and caring and everyone loved her." He waved a hand back, roughly in the direction of the lighthouse. "Obviously." I moved my hand, searching for his and when I found it, our fingers laced together. "I remember that, when I was younger, she'd take me out to the beach and while I'd build sandcastles, she would look for sea shells to decorate them. She never left them unfinished." He shook his head and smiled. "It's silly, I know, but it meant a lot to me."

I contemplated what he'd said. I couldn't imagine what it was like to have siblings, let alone know what it would be like to lose one of them. But in my mind's eye, images of Trevor and Aria popped up and suddenly, I wanted to see them so badly, I could practically feel something pulling me east, to where they were. My little cousins – even if it wasn't by blood – meant so much to me, I could probably count them as siblings. And if anything were to happen to them…. God forbid that ever happened.

Callum suddenly shifted and I sat up, pulling my legs under me. He smiled at me. He sounded a lot happier when he spoke again. "But I promised her not to be sad over her death. I promised her that I would live my life the way I wanted to and let nothing stand in the way of my happiness." He lifted his hand to my face and I felt his fingers trace my jawline. "And here I am," he whispered and I stayed utterly still.

"And here you are," I repeated after him. It was so warm here, even though it was dark and close to the sea and a breeze was sweeping past us. My skin was glowing under his fingers.

"We are," he said, cupping my chin and leaning forward, his eyes dipping as he turned his gaze away from my eyes and to my lips.

While I stared at Callum, staring at my mouth, a chime registered in the back of my mind. Almost breathless in this moment between us, my mind still managed to wander and I counted the chimes. Ten, eleven, twelve. Midnight. My birthday.

"It's my birthday," I muttered and I regretted my words as the spell broke and Callum sat back. His hand slipped from my skin and I felt the breeze pass over it, suddenly cold.

"Your birthday?"

I nodded. "I'm eighteen today."

"Happy birthday," Callum said with a smile. My phone rang from my bag inside the cabin of the jeep and he inclined his head towards it. "Maybe that's your parents calling." I shook my head. It was probably the hostess of the hotel, worried about me staying out late and wondering where I was.

"Are they coming to visit you?" he asked and again, I shook my head. Silence fell over us, until curiosity got the best of Callum.

"If you only just turned eighteen.." he started, "..why didn't your parents come with you?" I shook my head again. _Because they didn't know I was leaving. _I couldn't answer that. After learning how his sister was taken away from him, how could I tell him that I _chose_ to leave my family?

Oh god, what were my mom and dad thinking now? In my stupid egoism, I hadn't thought about it: how this was also the first time for my parents to have my birthday without me. _Oh god, oh god._ I stood up and Callum shot up with me, the bed dipping slightly on his side as the tires were pushed a little flatter by his weight.

"I need to go, Callum." I said, jumping out of the bed without more explanation. "I have to go home." I walked around to the driver's seat and climbed in quickly, but like before, Callum was by my side in an instant.

"Why?" he asked – or demanded – but I didn't answer. I started the car, but instead of just trying to take off, this time I turned back to him and caught his lips with mine one last time before I closed the door and locked it – just to make sure we wouldn't end up the way we did two days ago.

"Say bye to Twice for me, will you?" I pulled the seat belt around me.

"Tara," was all he replied, so I gave him a pointed look.

"Say bye to her and tell her sorry I'm not there tomorrow, okay? I'll come back, I promise, but I really need to go now." I turned to see if there was anyone behind the car before I started pulling out of the parking space.

"Tara!" I looked back to the side and saw Callum standing there, a little forlorn, a little shocked and a little angry and maybe the tiniest bit upset.

"I'll come find you when I'm back, okay?" I called out my window, over the rumble of the engine. "Just.. stay put and I'll come find you. I just need to go home now. I'll see you."

With that, I left him behind, keeping to the exact speed limits of every street I drove through. I didn't have to go back to the hotel – I had everything I really wanted to keep with me in the car anyway and clothes could be replaced.

As I calculated the twelve to thirteen hours it would take me to drive and run straight back to the caves, to home, I tried not to think about the things I would have to face when I got there.

* * *

**It has been too long since I've updated. I do have good reasons for not being able to do so, but I hope you guys haven't all gotten fed up with me in the meantime! Sorry for the wait.**

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